Saturday, March 15, 2014

Single Moms Club

I went to see The Single Moms Club on Friday, opening night with my girlfriend Michelle, another single Mom. I LOVED it and had a blast! Tyler Perry movies just have a way of thoroughly entertaining while informing, connecting and unifying like only a few can do. What I loved the most was chatting with the diverse group of women in our row and around us in the movie theater, (there were some cool men in the audience too). We were all laughing together and sharing similar heartaches and connections.

SPOILER ALERT - One scene that bothered many of us was when all of the Moms left all of the kids with a neighbor that Hillary had just met because one of the kids went missing. We all busted out laughing when someone said, “Why are they all just taking off and leaving them kids with Stranger Danger?” My new friend to my left said, “I bet that boy is just upstairs making out with Miss Thang, (the daughter of the career women who was craving attention and had been caught kissing a boy earlier).  It was odd that they all piled in one car and drove across town to the Moms house before really searching the designated babysitter Mom’s house first. Of course this provided that dialog moment in the car with all of the Moms.

Another funny moment was when the uptight publishing career women (who most of us were completely hating on in the beginning, but came to at least understand in the end) finally disclosed that she had been so busy climbing the corporate ladder that she had been celibate, no sex, for 10 years. The out loud audience comment, “That’s her problem right there!” made us laugh out loud! I feel you girl!    

All of us had stories to share about times when our ex-husbands or baby daddies did not show up to pick up the kids as promised and how we handled their disappointment, tears and anger that usually gets redirected at Mom and creates issues down the road.  If only "I'm sorry" made everything all better and we could then live happily ever after as friends. Of course all of these single Moms end up with seemingly great guys and that is not realistic. But I guess we do enjoy fantasizing in movies.  I too would be happy to meet the actor who played T.K. and/or get my book/movie published by a friend. Just sayin’.

Thank you Tyler Perry for sharing this story that brought to light some of the strongest individuals on the planet – single Moms! And like you explained in your email blast, most of us did not get here by choice. So please people don’t hate on single Moms.  The reality is that most women, whether single or not, still do the majority of the work raising kids while also working jobs and keeping up with all of the extracurricular minutia.  Yes there are good Dads out there and also single Dads who do it all too (props to you). I have not ever had the experience of an equal partner in love, but I try to keep it open. Like Lytia (my fave- Cocoa Brown) explained to Hillary, “You just wake up every day and do what you gotta do!” (something along those lines)

Keeping it real – my girlfriend thought this movie served up a little too much quickly sliced cheese in between white buns, in terms of the dialog and neatly stacked story line. It might be because we are a bit jaded at times as single Mom and we know it’s unrealistic to think that men like that would be so available and understanding of our sit-chi-ation. But we choose to look for the good, most days.

I would love to find and help organize an actual Single Moms Club of some sort. In fact, I will just put this out into the universe that I have been developing ideas for SMILE homes (Single Mothers Integrated Living Exchange) that would allow single mothers to share the load in a nice home. I welcome ideas, collaborators and especially investors!!! Send me a private message here or on Facebook if you want to connect.

Live, Forgive, Love, Laugh and Learn,
Shawna Ray