#Columbus Ohio #Christmas Wish Gifted

Today I am meeting my half sister Amy for the first time! I found out two months ago that my Dad planted a seed when he was in college at Kent State, six months before he met my Mom. The birth Mother put the baby up for adoption in New Jersey. I've since talked to the birth mother and she told me that she did not give my Dad a choice in the matter but he did drive up to New Jersey to see her as soon as he found out and gave her some money to help out. My Dad was a very good Father and passed away fifteen years ago after battling cancer. I am not sure why he never told my brother and me, or anyone in his large family that he had a child out there. He told my Mom, but they choose to let it be because it was a closed adoption and laws were different back then. All we can do now is deal with today and move forward, grateful for this unexpected gift and that the internet makes it much easier to find people these days.

I have talked to Amy on the phone a lot and through email and pictures on facebook since we found out. The first thing that she said when she talked to her birth mother was, "Thank you for giving me life!" She shared with me that she use to wish upon stars, ask Santa, ask the Easter Bunny and pray often for siblings. She was raised as an only child by loving adoptive parents who could not conceive a birth child and they truly loved her as their own. Amy said she is comfortable in her relationship with her parents but wanted to know more about who she is, including family medical history to be aware of. She told me she has always dreamed of having a sister and we have enjoyed getting to know each other. She studied English and Television Film Production in college and now works as an actress in New York. It has been so cool to talk to her and feels like I have known her all my life. We had a DNA test done so that we can could all move forward with confidence and we got the confirming results back the day before Thanksgiving.

Amy went to meet her birth Mother and another sister and brother last weekend for the first time. And now she is coming here to Columbus! My Dad was the oldest of nine and had not told anyone else in his family either, so this was major news and a piece of my Dad we never knew existed. Amy will be meeting the whole Goebel family in Cleveland, Ohio on Saturday at our annual family Christmas party.

Of course, anything major in my life tends to end up in a song. (It's how I process these things). So I wanted to share today as I head to the airport to pick up MY SISTER!!! The BEST Christmas gift ever!

Long Lost Lullaby
By Shawna Ray

Hear a childhood wish
Sent into the universe
Bringing forth a gift
Unwrapping this relationship
It's future from the past
Choices that were made for us
And as excitement lifts
We are breathing in this newness

Place the missing puzzle piece
Into pictures of a family tree
You are a part of me.
Sing a long lost lullaby
Sort emotions now arriving
You are a beautiful leaf...
In the family tree
In our family tree

Feel the angels wings
Guardians who carried you here
Waters can be deep
Over seas now drawing near
We navigate this place
Different than we've ever known
We're open and awake
Welcoming the baby born

Place the missing puzzle piece
Into pictures of a family tree
You are a part of me.
Sing a long lost lullaby
Sort emotions now arriving
You are a beautiful leaf...
In the family tree
In our family tree

We won't claim or take away
Those who raised you up
All we can do now is add
To the cast of characters
In this crazy life to be continued...
Place the missing puzzle piece
Into pictures of a family tree
You are a part of me.
Sing a long lost lullaby
Sort emotions now arriving
You are a beautiful leaf...
In our family tree
In the family tree
Watering the seed
Growing family

Long lost lullaby
So glad you found me
Long lost lullaby
We are family

My brother always jokes to lighten the mood and says that he is also writing a less sentimental country song titled , "Your Past Will Catch Up With Your Ass." lol Life sure is full of surprises!

www.shawnaray.com

When Sunshine Meets Moonlight

When sunshine meets moonlight
The sparks fly in moments
They hang while in the distance
But then they separate...
Like sleep and play
The yin and yang

He won't fall from the stars
She won't fan out the flame
He's got demons to chase
She won't give up her faith

When sunshine meets moonlight
The Sparks fly in moments
They hang while in the distance
But then they separate
Like sleep and play
The yin and yang

She knows life needs night
Darkness craves the rays
Can they live apart...
Loving in their own way?

When sunshine meets moonlight
The sparks fly in moments
They hang while in the distance
Though never separate
Like sleep and play
The yin and yang

Move the heart beat in the ocean tide
As a Grandpa holds a baby child
Breathe forgiveness, love is souls aligned
We've finally found our place

The sunshine holds the moonlight
And sparks fly for a life time
They both shine in the new sky
And never separate
In sleep and play
The yin and yang
Are one today
They vow to stay
Through the night
There is light
Through the day
There is play

shawna ray, today 12/1/11
www.shawnaray.com

Remember Me

In the busyness of shopping malls
In the stress that comes with making meals
In this season that is filled with frills
A baby cries off in the distance
Remember me
Pure love and peace
Remember me
Your joy complete
My gift is free
Lasting eternity
Remember me
Remember me
If acquiring things is robbing you of peace
Then priorities are black friday indeed
There's people starving and truly in need
Try balancing with charity
Remember me
Pure love and peace
Remember me
Your joy complete
A gift for free
Lasting eternity
Remember me
Remember me
Remember December
Stay present with the presents
Remember December
Stay loving with the living
Remember December
Hold the baby near
Remember December
Slow it down to hear...
Remember me
Pure love and peace
Remember me
Your joy complete
My gift is free
Lasting for eternity
Remember me
Remember me
shawna ray, today 11/25/11
www.shawnaray.com

Humble Pie for the Holidays

Happy Thanksgiving! Listen and enjoy some Humble Pie this holiday season. Any flavor you like, but you GIVE a slice or DO something nice FOR someone else before you serve yourself.

Humble Pie
By singer/songwriter Shawna Ray, Open 2010, Rhythm Ray Records, ASCAP
Produced by Ahmande “Mondo” Grimes and Aaron Rice, Nashville, TN

Lyrics...
At life’s restaurant I thought I’d get whatever I wanted
Ordered up a nice cool one And said keep‘em coming, coming…
Until my bill came due The day that I met you
I was way too full of myself Didn’t leave room for…
Humble pie, it’s an acquired taste
One that I have come to appreciate
For the growth it produces as change takes place
I learned to be grateful the more that I ate
Humble pie at life’s little restaurant
(ladedade ladedadedadedum ladedade ladedadedadedum)

Browse the menu for awhile
Everything comes with a price
Spending time with those I love
Always fill me up
Spice of life is beautiful
Every color every culture
Gives us friendship for dessert
It’s a revolving display of...

Humble pie, it’s an acquired taste…
Repeat Chorus

You get what you need, not always what you want
You give and receive at life’s restaurant
Everybody gets some - All you can eat of
Everybody gets some, all you can eat of…

Humble pie, it’s an acquired taste
One that I have come to appreciate
For the growth it produces as change takes place
I learned to be grateful the more that I ate
Humble pie at life’s little restaurant
(ladedade ladedadedadedum ladedade ladedadedadedum)

You can buy music at CD Baby: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/ShawnaRay
Or Buy music on itunes: http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/open/id364506056

Altitude

The cloud rises, pushing a mass
In front of this cumulus bliss
Deflecting, shades overlap
Pastelic colors move and connect
What do you see up there
As water droplets fall?
Cruzing at the altitude of hope
Cruzing at the altitude of love
Cruzing at the altitude of peace
From the mass in the middle
Heal through to the whole
Time change
Upward, the tall of it all
Highest result will decline and fall
Be careful in your descent
From elevation, ego is bent
What do you see up there?
Celestial celebration
Cruzing at the altitude of hope
Cruzing at the altitude of love
Cruzing at the altitude of peace
From the mass in the middle
Heal through to the whole
Time change
Saturation, destination, realization
No control
Fascination, imagination, illumination
Now let go...

Cruzing at the altitude of hope
Cruzing at the altitude of love
Cruzing at the altitude of peace
From the mass...
In the middle
Healing through...
To the altitude
The altitude
The altitude of change
shawna ray, today 11/5/11
I'm open, Rhythm Ray
www.shawnaray.com

To Be Continued...

This day may not all go as planned
Just get back up if you're knocked down
Surprises come but you can deal
The hand your dealt is not your seal
'Cuz every choice you have to make
Will steer your course and guide your fate
Your attitude determines who
Will be defeated. Don't let it defeat you!
Say this is my life and I'm the hero
In my story in my quest
To be my best and make a difference
Give more back than I take in
Lessons learned are never failures
Turn the page and start a new
There is more in each new chapter
Growing through - To be continued...
Ooooh To be continued...
So onward bound what have we here?
Another challenge ends the year
And with it brings reality
That happiness is what you make it
Look around at every gift
More valuable than any thing
Focus thoughts in gratefulness
And with renew let's hear you sing...
This is my life and I am the hero
In my story in my quest
To be my best and make a difference
Give more back than I take in
Lessons learned are never failures
Turn the page and start a new
There is more in each new chapter
Growing through - To be continued...
Ooooh To be continued...
Ooooh oooooooh ooooh
Ooooh oooooooh ooooh
Lessons learned are never failures
Turn the page and start a new
There is more in this new chapter
Growing through to be continued...
To be continued...
This is my life! I am the hero
In my story in my quest
To be my best and make a difference
Give more back than I take in
Lessons learned are never failures
Turn the page and start a new
There is more in this new chapter
Growing through to be continued...oooh
To be continued...oooh
To be continued...oooh
To be continued...
shawna ray, today 11/1/11
www.shawnaray.com

PhD

Everybody has something to teach
Everybody has some more to learn

There's a world of academics
Sometimes I get bored to tears
With a benchmark of perfection
Many words but I read fears
Growing up not good enough
Build's the silo so intact
System is designed with tunnel vision on a ten year track

And so it is with marketing
That pulls on insecurities
We're striving and arriving
Want to show our lettering

Don't Puff huff and Demean
Don't Puff huff and Demean
Don't Puff huff and Demean me
With your PhD
There's a world of misreligion
Legalism has "the way"
All this pure pontification
Jumping in to save the day
So the books are on the shelves
Manufacturing false wealth
While the children watch and learn this
Makes me want to scream God help!

And so it is with marketing
That pulls on insecurities
We're striving and arriving
Want to show our lettering
Please...
Don't Puff huff and Demean
Don't Puff huff and Demean
Don't Puff huff and Demean me
With your ministry
Don't Puff huff and Demean
Don't Puff huff and Demean
Don't Puff huff and Demean me
With your wealthy

patronizing, and critique
One can live in poverty
And still hold a phd
Puffing up out on the streets
Think its all about you baby please...
Don't Puff huff and Demean
Don't Puff huff and Demean
Don't Puff huff and Demean me
With your angry

This song is as much for me
Talking trash while I sing...
"You think you're better than me?
Well you're no better than me!"
Careful don't step to judging
All of us are downing something

Let's start leveling, leveling
Leveling the ego prone to...
Puff Huff and Demean
Don't Puff Huff and Demean
Don't Puff Huff and Demean
Take time to get to know me without...
Puff Huff and Demean
Don't Puff Huff and Demean
Don't Puff Huff and Demean me
With your PhD

Everybody has something to teach
Everybody has some more to learn

By shawna ray
I'm open

www.shawnaray.com

Salvaged

You see the flaws
I see the beautiful
You see the past
God holds the future
In your garage
I am a picker
Value and worth
Are found in old treasures

When light shines through...

Second chances
New romances
Reinvented
From the wreckage
Second chances
Circumstances
Nothing is too big
That can't be salvaged

You see the damage
I see potential
You see the pieces
I see the puzzle
The bigger picture
Put back together
The jagged edges
Of a stained glassed window

When light shines through...

Second chances
New romances
Reinvented
From the wreckage
Second chances
Circumstances
Nothing is too big
That can't be salvaged

When light shines through...

Taking care to clean and repair
All the cracks and crevasses
Restoration of hardware
Bringing out the best to reflect

Second chances
New romances
Reinvented
From the wreckage
Second chances
Circumstances
Nothing is too big
That can't be salvaged

You see the flaws
I see the beautiful
You see the past
God holds the future

By shawna ray, today 10/01/11
www.shawnaray.com

Superstitious

There's a gap as big as a mountainous cavern
All sides stand as the walls are built
Holding tight thinking they are stable
Pointing fingers come back again

Definitions vary
Generations gap
Guilt is always heavy
When we're waring with ourselves
Superstitious
It's superstitious

Twist of fate is a painful rug burn
Hopes of change turn disappointment
Seas ahead with an army onward
We are merely pawns in the game

Definitions vary
Generations gap
Guilt is always heavy
When we're waring with ourselves
Superstitious
I'm superstitious

Thinking I'm being watch through the internet
Helicopters are hovering overhead
They will get what they want in the end there's no win
Does all of the good do any good?
And who is the infamous "they" we talk of who is controlling the realm?

Definitions vary
Generations gap
Guilt is always heavy
When we're waring with ourselves
Superstitious
I'm superstitious
So let them watch us
It won't effect us
Unless we let it!
Superstitious
It's superstitious

shawna ray, today 9/24/11
www.shawnaray.com

My Dating List

(recording in process, no swiping ;0)
What I want is a parallel lover/ someone I can see at eye level/ What I want is a parallel playmate/ Hanging with me and understanding/ I would rather be alone/ than to be a mindless clone/ oh I would rather tell the truth/be myself/What the hellsa?/ Parallel/ hold my hand/walking in the same direction/ parallel/ share good life/laughing with a lover and friend/ could it be possible that somewhere out there is a parallel?/ What I want is a Parallel partner/ hold your own but still want to be here/ What I need is a parallel equal/ more than one so our whole should double/ I would like to see the world/ I’m no good at playing “girl”/ oh I would rather tell the truth/be myself/what the hellsa?/ Parallel/ hold my hand/walking in the same direction/ Parallel/ share good life/laughing with a lover and friend/ could it be possible that somewhere out there is a parallel?/ Parallel/ Yin Yang/ keep your name/ love does not mean you own me/beside or far away/I need to trust your loyalty/ I will love you as you are/ unconditionally/ we are parallel/ hold my hand/walking in/ the same direction/ Parallel/share this life/laughing with/ a lover and friend/ could it be possible that I’d be undone/having fun/so in love with a parallel/ together we are better/Parallel/ we talk without a filter/Parallel/ hold my hand/walking in the same direction…

If you are out there, come record this with me...seriously!

Writers and Fighters

Reverting back to seventeen
I'm screaming 'cuz you're hurting me
The blame is somewhere in between
Not getting what we're wanting

Feelings miss the filter screen
And wounds can be so prickly
I'm overwhelmed by heavy weight
So ready to drop my fists

Because...
Our friendship is worth it
And I love you more than I'm showing
Our history reads like a book
And we are the writers to choose where we want this to go, woah oh

So take the time to break it down
I'm humble and I'm listening
To hear the words you have to say
While holding my responses

Valid are the feelings there
I see it from a different mirror
You ask me and I do forgive
I'm choosing to drop my fists

Because...
Our friendship is worth it
And I love you more than I'm showing
Our history reads like a book
And we are the writers to choose where we want this to go, woah oh

I'm so tired of dancing around this ring
I'm tired of writing dramatic tragedies
Here's to hoping...
Here's to peace - in the middle east?

:o) Smiley...
Our friendship is worth it
And I love you more than I'm showing
Our history reads like a book
And we are the writers to choose if we want this
We are the fighters, choosing to drop our fists, woah oh
Woah oh oh
I like us much better like this!

By shawna ray, today 9/14/11
www.shawnaray.com

When Sunshine Meets Moonlight

When sunshine meets moonlight
The sparks fly in moments
They hang while in the distance
But then they separate...
Like sleep and play
The yin and yang

He won't fall from the stars
She won't fan out the flame
He's got demons to chase
She cant give up her faith

When sunshine meets moonlight
The Sparks fly in moments
They hang while in the distance
But then they separate
Like sleep and play
The yin and yang

She knows life needs night
Darkness craves the rays
Can they love while apart
Shining in different ways?

Sunshine meets moonlight
And sparks fly in moments
They hang while in the distance
And never need to separate
Like sleep and play
The yin and yang

Move the heart beat of the ocean tide
As a Grandpa holds a baby child
In forgiveness as the souls align
One love holds each in place

The sunshine is the moonlight
And sparks fly for a life time
They both shine in the new sky
And never need to separate
In sleep and play
The yin and yang
Are one today
And vow to stay
Through the night
There is light
Through the day
Dreams will play

By Shawna Ray, today
www.shawnaray.com

Let Me In

What we have here is a crossroad and clearing
I'm out on the edge and so over fearing
What we have here is a light that is reaching
Right to the core like a sound that is piercing

I want to let you love me
Will you let me love you?
I want to let you in me
Will you let me in you?

What we don't need is someone who thinks they can
come in and save with their right way of doing
What we don't need is another man to leave
With a wake of rejection and misunderstanding

I want to let you love me
Will you let me love you?
I want to let you in me
Will you let me in you?

Can this just be about us?
Tearing down walls that were built up
Look in my eyes and feel trust
Baby I will always have your back
And no, I'm not perfect
But if I mess up, I will own it
I don't cry much I just tell it like it is

I want to let you love me
Will you let me love you?
I want to let you in me
Will you let me in you?
Let me in
Let me in
Let me be in love with you
Oooh will you let me let me in?

(Daydreaming again)
shawna ray 9/3/11
www.shawnaray.com

Peace at Home

I will tell anyone, "You can make marriage work"
It's a much harder job separating the hurt
If the love there is good, find the value and worth
But if you getting abused, then repeat these words...

I'm not afraid to be alone
When there's peace at home
Peace at home
Empowered to be on my own
There is peace at home
Peace at home

Make a plan of escape, find the help that you need
You grow stronger each day with the faith to believe
You deserve more in life and have so much to give
Start by loving yourself to be there for your kids

I'm not afraid to be alone
When there's peace at home
Peace at home
Empowered to be on my own
There is peace at home
Peace at home

I am holding your hand as you walk through the fire
I have been there my friend and I know there's been worse
Know the truth that's inside, healing your heart and mind
Taking each baby step while feeling love and light
Now singing...
I'm not afraid to be alone
When there's peace at home
Peace at home
Empowered to be on my own
There is peace at home
Peace of mind
Free my soul
There is peace at home
Peace at home
Peace at home

Shawna Ray, today 9/1/11
www.shawnaray.com

IMG-20110829-00481.jpg

This picture caught my eye on the wall at Fridays for dinner...

Night Before School Starts

'Twas the night before school starts and all through the house, the kiddos were groaning and moping about.

"Summer is over!?! Oh why must it end?" While still they are happy to see all their friends.

With bags of supplies and a stocked full back pack, they pick up their schedules, "Guess who's in my class?"

On with the learning, into the next grade. Here's hoping that this year is going to be greAt!

By shawna ray, today, August 23, 2011
www.shawnaray.com

Day One

Yesterday went from bad to worse
Toilet clogged and the squad was called
Talked to my brother, we played a game
Of touched you last with hurtful words

Am I hard to love or is it just
that I won't let you hit me hard?
Do I self destruct? Or is it just
Enough is enough
I'm sending out a dove to find new love, starting from day one
Day one

Seeing things more clearly now
The rain is gone, rainbow appears
On my own and steering clear of
People always speaking fears

Am I push and shove or is it just
that I won't let you push me down?
Do I suck at love? Or is it just
that I have learned the difference
I'm sending out a song to move along starting from day one
Day one

Where do I want to go from here?
Who do I want my kids to follow?
What if I have to part with
Friends and family I knew before?

Am I hard to like or is it just
that I want more in life?
Do I think I'm smart? Or is it just
that I've been playing stupid
Sending out the dove to find new love starting from day one
Day one

Doing my best to overcome
Looking out at a great big ocean
Finding a way to build back up
Starting from day one
All it takes is a mustard seed to move a mountain, move the mountain, move that mountain...
Starting from- day one
Starting from- day one
Starting from- day one
Day one

shawna ray, today is august 18, 2011
www.shawnaray.com

Fill It Up

My Daddy use to say "Adjust your attitude" and I'd pretend I had a tool to get inside my brain and change the view

I have heard it said "Its not what happens to you, its the way you handle it." So true if there's a will then there's a way

So you can't rain on my parade
Cuz I will look to find the rays
And you can't take away my peace
Because I choose what I receive
There will sometimes be those days When it seems the glass is empty
I say- fill it up, fill it up
Come on and fill it up fill it up
Come on man fill it up fill it up
Fill it up!

Edison they say tried many times and failed, but kept on trying till he found a way to bring the light we use today

Many people hate and try to bring me down but I'm not here to mess around and waste the good life that I bring my way

So you can't rain on my parade
Cuz I will look to find the rays
You can't take away my peace
Because I choose what I receive
There will sometimes be those days When it seems the glass is empty
I say- fill it up, fill it up
Come on and fill it up fill it up
Come on and fill it up fill it up
Fill it up!

I've been down, don't get me wrong
But I don't choose to stay there long

Just fill it up, fill it up
Come on and fill it up fill it up
Come on and fill it up fill it up
Fill it up!
I say- fill it up, fill it up
Come on and fill it up fill it up
Come on and fill it up fill it up
Fill it up!

shawna ray, today
www.shawnaray.com

Cool Teen

Met a girl who is an old soul
Even though she's half my age
Conversating about the world
All the things that don't make sense

She said when I walk down the halls
It's a good thing they don't
hear me think...

I can be cool like you
Look at me hey I'm cool
I can be cool like you
When I want to
I can be wild and free
Look at me so crazy
I can be drunk and dumb
But is that fun...really?

Feel the energy in the waves
Drainers hating on the internet
Spreading gossip with potty mouth
Karma will come back around

Soul surfers out catching a ray
It's a good thing you don't
play that game...

I can be cool like you
Look at me hey I'm cool
I can be cool like you
When I want to
I can be wild and free
Inside out beauty
I can be fierce and free
Naturally
Naturally
I can be kind and wise
Give it up girls and guys
There is much more to life
Than what you look like
I can be rich with love
Listen up share the light
I can be cool like you
But why try to be somebody else?
I can be cool like me
Set free to spread my wings
Rockin that cool just me
Authentically
I can be cool just me
That's who I want to be

I'm lovin you are a cool teen
Lovin you lovin you!

By Shawna Ray, Today
www.shawnaray.com

Family 4th Weekend

This picture is of my son wearing the t-shirt that my extended family had made for our trip to the Outerbanks in North Carolina, "Families are like fudge. Mostly sweet, with a few nuts."

For years, my Dad's side of the family from Cleveland, Ohio has gotten together, usually around the fourth of July weekend and again in December, before Christmas. My Dad was the oldest of nine kids, born to a full Irish Mother and German Father. So this fruitful Catholic family of entrepreneurs is a crew; full of passionate personalities and characters. It makes for loud and fun games, pranks, and adventures.

The Goebel's have gathered at our family camp houses, various Lake Erie vacation spots, beach houses at the Outerbanks and Mackinac Island, and fishing in Canada. One year my Grandma took 42 of us to the place where she was born in Ireland and also two other cities, as we were there for 10 days! I love my family and realize what a rare gift and blessing it was to have these experiences growing up.

As a teen I remember grumbling though, about missing the big fourth of July party back home to be at a family reunion. Then when I was seventeen years old, my Dad got cancer; and five years later he passed away, forever changing how I value precious time with family. Because the family has grown very large with all of the kids and grandkids, and many of the family business dynamics have changed, we have not organized a whole gang trip since my Grandmother passed away in recent years. But I'd give anything for one of those fun vacations or a weekend with my Dad again. I still cherish the memories and look forward to when I do get to spend time together with his family. I hear his voice when my uncles speak and laugh, and my kids get to know the grandfather they never met in some ways.

As I say Happy Birthday America, I recognize the sacrifices that others have given to provide us with opportunity. We have so much to be thankful for in this country. And this fourth of July, I encourage you to let go of any past family hurts and truly be liberated to love freely and unconditionally. Life is full of fireworks that make us ooh and ahh, if we will only stop to appreciate those moments. I hope that you will make the time to get together and catch up with your nutty forever family this summer.
www.shawnaray.com

Beyond the Scars

He's feening for a friend
She's sexing for some love
He's working to feel worth
I'm eating to feel hugged

And so we miss the mark
We journey through this earth
In search of one who cares
To see beyond the scars

She's cutting for control
He's running for release
She's numbs with alcohol
He's hitting when he's weak

And so we miss the mark
And journey through this earth
In search of one who cares
To see beyond the scars

I don't have all the answers
But I know ONE who heals
I've seen it with my own mess
Where God in time revealed

Meaning through the madness
Wholeness through the sadness
Life that finally makes more sense
In real love and relationship

And so we'll miss the mark
As we journey through this earth
I'll be some one who cares
To see beyond the scars

In the Spirit of peace flowing freeing There's joy in the midst of the pain
Filling the void so we can see
A rainbow through the rain

When we embrace the ONE
When we are loved by ONE
United now as ONE, all in one
Who sees beyond the scars
Who loves beyond the scars
Who made us to be loved
And to love as ONE

Through shawna ray, today
www.shawnaray.com

Naked

Is there a way to rid myself of the looming guilt in being human?
Is there a time when I will be blind and not want to hide when I'm naked?
And the leaves fall off
when a bite is taken
I love my God
But I'm only human
And naked
I'm naked

Is there no shame in playing the game and living this life to the fullest?
I give and take and try to behave I'm out here and making a difference
But the leaves fall off
when a bite is taken
I love you God
And I'm only human
Here naked
I'm naked

So what is this just one big test?
I'm prone to run towards the dangling carrot
I sow I grow and give it all
I read I feed but still I need to feeeeeeeeel loved to feeeeeeel full and feeeeel that I am loved by you

When the leaves fall off
And a bite taken
I love you God
And I'm only human
Here naked
I'm naked
Naked before you
Naked after you
Naked and seeking truth
Fully dressed and over this
So why am I still feeling that I'm naked?

By shawna ray today
www.shawnaray.com

Diving Into Daydreams

Walking on cloud nine
Swirling around
Catching my breath and
Feeling weightless
Will water hold me?
Well just relax
Enjoy the journey
To lala land...

I'm diving into daydreams
Cutting the slack
Caller asked for dreamer
Answer, "Yes I am"
Diving into daydreams
Well now what's next?
Lost and I'm finding
What I want to be when I grow up
Been there done that
So I grow on and live it up

I thought I would be
Somewhere by now
Bloom where I'm planted
Leaving the ground
What if I miss it?
Has that ship sailed?
I can't go back so
I'll start with now

I'm diving into daydreams
Cutting the slack
Caller asked for dreamer
Answer, "Yes I am"
Diving into daydreams
Well now what's next?
Hopeful I'm finding
What I want to be when I grow up
Been there done that
So I grow on and live it up

Every little peak and valley
There is more to see
Loving as I'm learning
How to follow God's lead
It's all about the flow
And counting blessings

While diving into daydreams
Cutting the slack
Caller asked for dreamer
Answer, "Yes I am"
Diving into daydreams
Well now what's next?
Free and I am finding
All I want to be when I grow up
I'm over that
Now I grow on and live it up
Still diving into daydreams
Falling in love
Are you coming with me?
Ah now grow on and live it up
Live it up, live it up, live it up!

Shawna Ray
www.rhythmray.com
www.shawnaray.com

Out There

Thinking of the web world written 2/27/11...

Exposure, uncover
Who you are; it's all out there
Revealing, true feelings
shared on the internet well

Some of it informing
With resourceful news
Some of it bullshish
Lies disguised as truth

Out there
Its all out there
For the world to see
Embedded coding
Out there
We're out there
All I'm asking
Is that we pause and think out there

So thankful for knowledge
A global library
But remember, what you say
Can be felt instantly

Marketing a company
Networking with friends
Videos of rising stars
And voices for a cause

Out there
Its all out there
For the world to see
Embedded coding
Out there
We're out there
All I'm asking
Is that we pause and think out there

Where privacy is lost
And innocence exploited
Dark Addictions fed
And character is tested
Out there
Its all out there
Tracking cookies
Searching, spidering
Out there
We are out there
All I'm asking
Is that we pause and think out there
Its all out there
www.shawnaray.com

At a Loss

Lives are being torn apart
While I go through normal life
Wish there was a way that I
could help you today

Balling up this energy
Separate the heavy weight
How can something so far away
Affect me like this?

Every soul, we are connected
To this lifeforce energy
I don't know you but I feel you
Sending prayers and love your way
I am sorry for your loss
So sorry...

Knowing just how short life is
Changes how we all should live
Have to find a way to give
And reach to meet this need

Every moment counts each day
Nothing in material things
When a love is ripped away
We face priority

Every soul, we are connected
To this lifeforce energy
I don't know you, but I feel you
Sending prayers and love your way
I am sorry for your loss
So sorry

Healing in each grain of sand
The wake of tragedy
Giving, giving what I can
Sending light your way
I am sorry for your loss
So sorry, at a loss
I am sorry for your loss
So sorry
www.shawnaray.com

Collective, by Shawna Ray 3/11/11

When what we sow is what we reap
The energy will feed and seed
The whole, I am collective

We turn the darkness by receiving light
In understanding another's viewpoint
Asking why and listening
Talking less with heartfelt giving
What we sow is what we reap
The energy will feed and seed
The whole, I am collective

We break the cycle sharing ourselves
Staying connected to the Spiritual realm
Loving each other when we are in Love
Lifting our voices, laughing out loud
When what we sow is what we reap
The energy will feed and seed
The whole, I am collective

As we heal
As we grow
As we feel
And let it go

When what we sow is what we reap
The energy will feed and seed
The whole, we are collective
In peace
Collectively
In love
Collectively
We are one 
This energy will feed and seed
The whole, I am, collective

www.shawnaray.com

The Essence of Life

Not that I have it all figured out, but this song came to me today and I just like sharing in real time now that I've figured out the quick copyright for lyrics and don't fear so much anyway...

THE ESSENCE OF LIFE

You smile and now I'm smiling
You bring the best out of me
Suddenly captivated by a need
Wrapping me up in warm blankets of love...

The essence of life, I finally get it
And feel so alive; completely exhausted
Love multiplies; the sum is the total
I find the essence of life

You laugh and get me laughing
You cry and reach inside of
My soul; it blows my mind when
I look into your eyes
Wrapping me up in warm blankets of love...

The essence of life, I finally get it
And feel so alive, completely exhausted
Love multiplies; the sum is the total
I find the essence of life

Flash forward through your life
You're catching me in height
Asking hard questions
I have to make right
Moments in time
A balancing axis
So please understand
It's imperfectly perfect

The essence of life, I finally get it
And feel so alive, completely exhausted
Love multiplies; the sum is the total
I find the essence of life
Giving me up in the lessons of love...
Wrapping us up in warm blankets.

(I was thinking of my children when they were tiny babies and completely captivated me in love. I still don't understand how some people, including my kids' father- miss that! But then this song broadened and I can also picture any caregiver, lover and life traveler who reaches beyond self to discover the essence of life, even for just a moment) hmmmm 3/7/11 shawna ray
www.shawnaray.com

Expanding my horizon

I've been tumblr blogging this year and have felt safe and comforted there. I enjoy sharing pictures and music and surfing through random posts in that very creative community. But I really do want to stay OPEN and share my songs, lyrics, stories and writing ramblings to a wide audience, in the form of a sort of musical memoir. So, I am trying to figure out what’s next?
Possible rejection from agents, editors and publishers is so freakn scary! To avoid it, I started my own company; Rhythm Ray Inc. to self published my children's book, "Take a Trip to Diverse City" after one and only rejection letter from my unsolicited submission to Harper Collins. It was actually a very nice letter, first from the Children's Division president saying that she was passing my book on to the editor, followed by the Harper Collins editor’s letter saying that it just didn't fit in their program list at the time. Rather than keep trying, I published myself and have enjoyed sharing at schools, community festivals and churches. I figured I needed to build a platform as a first time author. First print of 1,000 with Winter’s Press sold, then Rhythm Ray printed a special edition of 5,000 sold with a CD music version of the book with Atlanta music group B5.
I thought my background in Public Relations would allow me to do it all myself, but I hadA LOT to learn. I absolutely HATE promoting myself is the first thing I learned real quick. As a single Mom, this has been an adventure and humbling poverty experiment. I did have the opportunity to share on The Today Show, nominated by my daughter Kaiya and chosen as one of the finalists on a CBS Special, "America's Favorite Mom" in 2008, sponsored by Teleflora. That seems like forever ago! Last year I self published my first album of original songs, "Open" with an inheritance gift from my Grandmother after she passed away. I had lost my job and have struggled to find work in this recession, moving in with my Mom. We about killed each other at first and writing was the one thing that got me through. I am not sure what I expect to come from all this, but it’s been pretty uneventful thus far. I released an album and only performed three shows this year. What the hell is wrong with me? Every time I got a new band together, the guys would move away to find work outside of Columbus, Ohio. This happened three times and since I have been petrified of being alone on stage, the music was OPEN but few people walked through the door. That’s what it feel like anyway. I mean, it has been out there on itunes and such, but I am still broke and undiscovered.
I feel like I have missed way too many steps for far too long. I also auditioned for Oprah’s OWN show, using my last dollars to fly to Atlanta. I didn’t receive a call back. I had started out in Broadcasting wanting to be like Oprah!!! The mantra of so many. Much like my interest in John Mayer’s music; just one of the millions of fans. My inner critic has a hayday with these pipedreams. It feels sort of like a myth and I am taunted by a looming fear and the reality of rejection as if I am still that 11 year old dreamer. I have been procrastinating while babbling and posting in hidden blogs; dabbling in facebook and twitter circus training. Meanwhile, retracing my misteps and mentoring my younger self while tracking this reinvention process in a sort of musical memoir. My book in process is now at 101, 001 words. It's about time I start searching for more outlets. I promised that young writer that I would help her finally follow through this time! I want to prove to my kids that dreams really do come true if you do not give up. Really? Is that true??? All I know is…IM OPEN.

I love you Soooo Much Kaiya

Today is my daughter Kaiya’s 11th birthday. Here is the, “Soooo Much” home video clip of our “love you hand shake” and song chorus, with lyrics below. Last year Kaiya was in an accident with my uncle at our family farm house. She endured a skull fracture, broken foot, broken pelvis and LOTS of stitches, but recovered quickly and is as smart, funny, lovable and creative as ever. Times like these make you treasure every moment. I have blogged some of Kaiya’s art and letters, (if you are out of work like me her letter to God will make you cry). She even started her own web show with a friend and they make up the funniest character skits and parodies, (winkydotme). She and my son are pure love and joy! Being a single Mom is not always easy, but I have so much to be grateful for.

Soooo Much,
by Shawna Ray to Kaiya

You made me a picture and wrapped it in love
You hug me and squeeze my hand two times,
“Guess What?” “What?” “I love you” three squeezes back
“How much?” This much…Hold it, cherish
“I love you soooo much!” I love you soooo much!
I love you soooo much!