Monday, January 20, 2014

Reoccurring Dreams of THAT ONE DAY

This past year was challenging. I found myself out of a job and struggling to find my place. My kids are now teens who are changing so fast. And I continue to have these reoccurring dreams and songs that wake me up in the middle of the night and inspire me in moments. Like the time when I had a vision of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. saying “I have a dream THAT ONE DAY…” It was 11/11/07 and I believed I was to be a part of a unity movement that would bring people of hope and change together on 11-11-11. I wrote letters to key leaders and bought the web address’ www.thatoneday (.com and .org). I have made baby steps, but also feel completely inadequate to take any of this on.

When 11-11-11 came around, I was recovering from major surgery that ended up making matters worse and causing a lot of damage to my body. I was back to work full time even though I was still in a lot of pain. I did take a few hours on a  limited budget to go to a studio and record a very quick version of the song 11:11. My friend Martin filmed it so we could post a video on 11-11-11 (see video below). It wasn’t what I thought it would be, but it was something. 

I was working at a Poverty Solutions Collaborative and was a part of a unifying movement at the university, including facilitating Open Doors conversations founded by my friend Bowen Marshall. Martin and I also filmed health stories of individuals who were homeless and living in poverty and I coordinated several events and conferences that empowered open thinking. I still believe it will all play a part someday. But then  the center funding was cut and we all lost our jobs. I now know what it feels like to have to file for welfare so that my kids have insurance. I have been so disillusioned by systems and organizations that claim to be raising money and working toward social causes that they barely support. I know there are also some good programs doing amazing work and every step moves us forward. But I gotta be honest...There have been times when I have found myself completely frustrated and depleted by all of this.

Still, I know that I am connected to something much bigger and this month I received another reminder. I had no idea how I would cover my rent two weeks ago and then out of the blue I got a call from an entrepreneur wanting to purchase the domain web address thatoneday. He offered the exact amount of money that I had prayed for to cover the bills. His senior care business was not what I thought would be on that website, but it is what it is. I still have thatoneday.org to develop a website once I have the support to start a nonprofit organization.

When I hear Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. speak or watch the Nelson Mandela story and movies like The Butler and 12 Years a Slave recently, I am inspired to …
1. Get over myself because I know very little of what it feels like to truly struggle
2. Keep moving forward, doing what I can do peacefully
3. Be thankful for family, friends and all that is good in my life, as I seek and flow in the abundance to come...

“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men [and women] are created equal.’”

New song ideas...

Reoccurring Dreams

Seems like everything is falling down
Did we miss a step or throw ourselves?
Remembering all the dreams that never went away
Philosophies and the fortune teller saying I should wait

September never came
Or is it yet to be?
I’ve tried to play the game
But I cannot compete with a younger me
What does it mean? 
These reoccurring dreams

Can’t go back and so I’ll start with now
Pour my heart and hope you’ll hear me out
There’s no regret this is life and we learn as we go
I'll pass the test and survive knowing what I know now

September never came
Or is it yet to be?
I’ve tried to play the game
But I cannot compete with a younger me
What does it mean? 
These reoccurring dreams

Reoccurring dreams
Have something to say
Reoccurring dreams
Of that one day

-         by Shawna ray



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