When 11-11-11 came around, I was recovering from major surgery that ended up making matters worse and causing a lot of damage to my body. I was back to
work full time even though I was still in a lot of pain. I did take a few
hours on a limited budget to go to a studio and record a very quick version of the song
11:11. My friend Martin filmed it so we could post a video on 11-11-11 (see video below). It wasn’t
what I thought it would be, but it was something.
I was working at a Poverty Solutions Collaborative and was a part of a unifying movement at the university, including facilitating Open Doors conversations founded by my friend Bowen Marshall. Martin and I also filmed health stories of individuals who were homeless and living in poverty and I coordinated several events and conferences that empowered open thinking. I still believe it will all play a part someday. But then the center funding was cut and we all lost our jobs. I now know what it feels like to have to file for welfare so that my kids have insurance. I have been so disillusioned by systems and organizations that claim to be raising money and working toward social causes that they barely support. I know there are also some good programs doing amazing work and every step moves us forward. But I gotta be honest...There have been times when I have found myself completely frustrated and depleted by all of this.
I was working at a Poverty Solutions Collaborative and was a part of a unifying movement at the university, including facilitating Open Doors conversations founded by my friend Bowen Marshall. Martin and I also filmed health stories of individuals who were homeless and living in poverty and I coordinated several events and conferences that empowered open thinking. I still believe it will all play a part someday. But then the center funding was cut and we all lost our jobs. I now know what it feels like to have to file for welfare so that my kids have insurance. I have been so disillusioned by systems and organizations that claim to be raising money and working toward social causes that they barely support. I know there are also some good programs doing amazing work and every step moves us forward. But I gotta be honest...There have been times when I have found myself completely frustrated and depleted by all of this.
Still, I know that I am connected to something much bigger and this
month I received another reminder. I had no idea how I would cover my rent two
weeks ago and then out of the blue I got a call from an entrepreneur wanting to
purchase the domain web address thatoneday. He offered the exact amount of money
that I had prayed for to cover the bills. His senior care business was not what
I thought would be on that website, but it is what it is. I still have
thatoneday.org to develop a website once I have the support to start a nonprofit
organization.
When I hear Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. speak or watch the Nelson
Mandela story and movies like The Butler and 12 Years a Slave recently, I am inspired
to …
1. Get over myself because I know very little of what it feels like to
truly struggle
2. Keep moving forward, doing what I can do peacefully
3. Be thankful for family, friends and all that is good in my life, as I seek and flow in
the abundance to come...
“I have a dream that one day
this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold
these truths to be self evident, that all men [and women] are created equal.’”
New song ideas...
Reoccurring Dreams
Seems like everything is falling down
Did we miss a step or throw ourselves?
Remembering all the dreams that never went away
Philosophies and the fortune teller saying I should wait
September never came
Or is it yet to be?
I’ve tried to play the game
But I cannot compete with a younger me
What does it mean?
These reoccurring dreams
These reoccurring dreams
Can’t go back and so I’ll start with now
Pour my heart and hope you’ll hear me out
There’s no regret this is life and we learn as we go
I'll pass the test and survive knowing what I know now
September never came
Or is it yet to be?
I’ve tried to play the game
But I cannot compete with a younger me
What does it mean?
These reoccurring dreams
These reoccurring dreams
Reoccurring dreams
Have something to say
Reoccurring dreams
Of that one
day
- by Shawna ray
