Love Me or Love Me Not

Picture a little girl picking off the petals of a flower saying, "He loves me, he loves me not..." Years later, she is still singing this song...

Subtle is the way we let things go
Hoping that you'll choose to stay
Passive and aggressive, you should know
Life is all about the change

Love me or love me not?
Love me or love me not!
If you're not the one who can love me as I am...
Then it is what it is not love...

Hiding in the friend zone long enough
Caring from a far is safe
Intimate is far more intimate
Suddenly the tides have changed

Love me or love me not?
Love me or love me not!
If you're not the one who can love me as I am...
Then it is what it is not love...

All I need is for you to love me.
Don't change me. Then who would I be?
If you're not the one who can love me as I am...
Then it is what it is
What it is...What is it?
Well it is what it is NOT love.

-Shawna Ray, today

Sent from my Sprint Samsung Galaxy S® 6.

NEW MUSIC in Process. Please celebrate my birthday with me...

Today is my birthday. Presently is the name of a new song I wrote on a milestone birthday, April 30th and the proposed name of a new collaborative EP - where I am asking you to celebrate with me by supporting new music. Through surveys on Indiegogo and Birthday Backer voting, whether you support with $1 or up to $10,000 - you become members of The Ray Team, as if you are the record label. So you get to help decide what songs end up on the EP, and what the cover looks like. There are corporate sponsorship opportunities at the highest levels and I would love to work with you if you are interested in those options. And in the end, the story will be ours to tell. You're not only the supporter - you're the co-creator.

Five years after my OPEN album was released, I have so many more songs I want to share while also seeking publishers for my book, “Destination is the Journey," a memoir that shares the stories behind these songs. Because of health issues and a major surgery in 2010 and again in 2013, I never got to tour with OPEN album, so that is the plan with this new venture, now that I am healthy and determined to turn my creative side into my career.

LINK TO CHECK IT OUT...

Other Ways You Can Help

For those of you who have already given so much and have a full plate of your own bills and goals, I totally understand if you are not able to give at all. Prayers and good vibes are free and also much appreciated. Also please share the links with your network or select contacts you feel might be interested in sponsoring. I have sponsored several projects, from $5 to $25 and friends and people I’ve ever met but believe in were able to publish books, make documentary films and record albums this way. So I am excited and getting over the uncomfortableness of asking for help.

Thank you, for everything. I truly appreciate your support, love and friendship. 

Make Room

I'm sending love to the demons

I feel you coming for me

If in the blood there's forgiveness

It must be hell to relive

I'm setting you free

Setting you free

Letting it go in love

To make room for peace

I'm sending love to the haters

I feel you fighting with me

If I remind you of traitors

You think I'm the enemy

I'm setting you free

Setting you free

Letting it go in love

To make room for peace

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I'm sending love to my young self

You cannot know until you know

All of the wounds brought you to now

It's in the learning you grow

And this might all seem cliche

Well this is a new day

I've learned to love the hard way

Best lessons come from mistakes

I'm setting you free

Setting you free

Letting it go in love

To make room 

So make room 

For peace 

...................

It's all good,

Live, give, love, laugh and learn,

Shawna Ray, today...

Dressed for Debate

Which picture is the original? And what colors do you see there? It varies - right? So the great dress debate is about lighting, filters and perception. It has also brought to light how narcissistic many become when trying to get others to change their mind or see things the way they do.

I have heard, "You're wrong, you're dumb, you're stupid and you're crazy." Upon first glance, I saw goldish taupe stripes of lace on a white or light blue fabric dress. Some of my friends swear it is blue and black...period. I asked them to clarify the color of blue they were seeing by having them point to something with the same color. It was usually a bright, sort of royal cobalt blue?


If I hold my phone back and squint, I can see how the dress can be seen as blue and black. Either way, I find an interesting lesson in it all. Narrowing our focus to only that which we see, is clearly what divides us. And just think of how much energy you have wasted in this silly debate. I obviously bought in as well. You can link here to see John Mayer posted a video on Instagram using a color finder that I enjoyed  https://instagram.com/p/zoKAV3OEcv/ (FYI the black at the bottom of the circle is stationary - look at where the pointer is aimed). And here is a screenshot of an Instagram post that shows the dress in different lighting compared to the picture that sparked the debate.

So this selfie Sunday, I took this picture, inside, from my phone,  late last night. There is no natural sunlight, only one overhead light and a lower lamp. Each time I changed the lighting, it changed the color in the picture. And once I decided on a picture, I added different filters. 

It's all the same. No need to debate. Just accept and respect that others may see things differently than you do.

Oh and by the way...the 2nd pic down is the original (with a little touch up on my forehead to soften the wrinkles that appear when I make that face). 

Equilibrium Love

EQUILIBRIUM
- shawna ray, today

Is my infatuation
Merely a soul distraction?
Pulled by a wind that's waiting
For you to notice me

I want to be in the groove
With you, drifting by
Equal to librium
No less and no goodbye
Equilibrium
Equilibrium

Free, as you are, I'll love you
As long as you're loving
Constant as one, thou separate
Pure as the light of day

I want to be in the groove
With you, drifting by
Equal to librium
No less and no goodbye
Equilibrium
Equilibrium

Reaching reaction
In forward action
Equal attraction
This give and take
We lift each other
Holding our own as
We love and let love
Staying the change

I want to be in the groove
With you, drifting by
Equal to librium
No less and no goodbye
Equilibrium
Equilibrium

Reaching reaction
In forward action
Equal attraction
This give and take

- If you hear music to match these lyrics, please email me at shawnaray @ live.com so we can collaborate. T'm writing this from my phone since my computer died this week. It lived a good life and is at peace now. So please excuse any finger peck typos.

So this image above is art that was submitted in the search for a human rights logo back in 2011. Sorry I do not know the name of the artist. They chose another logo that is perfect.  But I also love this image that reminds me of what I think of in terms of real, lasting love, that is equal and unwavering. This also represents all levels of human interaction, attraction and collaboration. There are certain elements that allow individuals to bond in friendship or work together on a level that allows each person to bring their gifts to the table and by joining together, the multiplied result is greater good and increased value. Every human being has this potential and deserves equal respect. At the same time, there are some who have a certain chemistry or vibration that just seems to fit together.

I have been processing the idea of an equilibrium love, a chemically reactive equivilant. I think a soul mate is not one who completes or changes you. The two remain constant as individuals, though uniting as one. Understanding that all life goes through changes, I have been longing for a pure and unchanging bond that allows two people to love and grow naturally, moving forward together, without taking anything away from the individual.

I have loved to a fault and been loved to a fault. It seems to often be one sided, where one gives more. What I want is an equal. Not someone who is exactly like me. But someone who matches me and feels me. I have no idea what that really means yet. I hope that I will know when I find and feel it. All I know is, I am no longer willing to settle for anything less. I have wasted a lot of time and energy in soul distractions and self sabotage. So I am spending more time asking myself a lot of questions these days. Becoming who I am meant to be. Finding and expressing my true self and finding my own balance from within. That way I will also be open and able to recognize and connect with team and band mates and in this case, hopefully a partner someday to share the journey.

Growing Up Dads

Happy Father's Day to all the Dads, and those who fill those shoes. Special thanks to all single Moms and those who mentor and support kids who do not have present Dads. This is a picture of my son with his Dad before the divorce.

I remember being so angry that my ex was not involved in his kids lives or paying child support for years. I wrote and posted this song, "Don't be a Dead Beat" last year. Sorry that relationships with writers can be a blessing or a curse. But since I aired the dirty laundry then, I am happy to report that he has been paying child support for over six months now and has seen his kids three times this past year! Compared to my Dad and many who are actively involved, there is still major room for growth. But I have learned that when we focus on the good, it can then increase.

Many boys and girls become Dads and Moms before they are ready for the full responsibility. Maybe they did not have an example and positive role model of how to be an active and encouraging Dad/Mom, or they just lose their way for a time in selfishness, addiction and negative choices that take them so far down the wrong path that they struggle to find their way. Watching Oprah Winfrey's series on single Moms and Dads, what I realized is that many Dads become defeated and give up because they feel like failures and act in that belief. Especially when there is a strong Mom involved, and we do become Mamma Bears to protect our children, always reminding them of how they fall short.

So today, I want to thank all of the imperfectly perfect Dads and the Father of my children, for the times when you have been present and have supported your kids. To all of the Dads and Moms who are still growing up... Today is a new day! You have a choice, to be there for your kids. We ALL fall short and need grace. We need to be reminded of who God made us to be. Life is short. Make the time to show your kids you love them. Forgive your Dad for what he couldn't do and choose to do better.

I am thankful for the time I had with my Dad. Bob Goebel was an awesome Father! I have this framed picture below of a rainbow, because he was the one who taught me to "Look for the rainbow" through every storm, and never give up. While I was in college, my dad was battling cancer. One day after a weekend visit at home, I found this note inside a heart that my Dad had written on one of the inside pages of my binder. Losing him when I was 22, I have treasured this piece of paper. And I added this fortune cookie note in the frame, "Character matters. Leadership descends from character." My Dad was a true leader, with integrity and character. He was not perfect, but he was always present, seeking God and planning fun adventures for our family. I had no idea then that he would be gone too soon. I miss him so much!

Every little thing that Dads do to say and show, "I love you" matters! It is not about the amount of money you spend. It is showing that you care. Do not give up! Do what you can. Live forgive and be present, today. We will get through the growing pains. Every experience teaches us the lessons we need to learn to move forward and be our very best with each new day.
Happy Growing Family Day!

Maya Angelou, Phenomenal Woman, sung by Shawna Ray

Video above in memory of Dr. Maya Angelou, where I am singing her poem Phenomenal Women into my phone, with words listed. I found this photo by Adria Richards with a quote through ASCF.org online, so I hope that's okay. Now I wish I had done more with this sooner.

But here's the story...I wake up and sing song ideas into my phone all the time, but I never intend for anyone to hear them publicly. In April I woke up and sang this rough a capella version of the poem for some reason. (Can I possibly give any more disclaimers?? Like if I was 11 wouldn't you think this was okay? And do you realize that most of what you hear in music has been highly processed and recorded with high tech microphones? And most people sound awful singing into a phone. Ahhhh Let it go already). All I know is, I have to share. 

Rest in peace. You will be missed. And we will forever be grateful for the legacy you left behind and your Heartsong that lives on through your writing and those you have inspired.

 – Shawna Ray   

Website: www.shawnaray.com
Direct link to videos on youtube: http://youtube.com/imshawnaray 

See previous blog entry for another song collection of Maya Angelou poems posted yesterday, a Timeless Face of Grace with Poetry that Penetrates...

http://shawnaray.blogspot.com/2014/05/timeless-maya-angelou.html