Equilibrium Love

EQUILIBRIUM
- shawna ray, today

Is my infatuation
Merely a soul distraction?
Pulled by a wind that's waiting
For you to notice me

I want to be in the groove
With you, drifting by
Equal to librium
No less and no goodbye
Equilibrium
Equilibrium

Free, as you are, I'll love you
As long as you're loving
Constant as one, thou separate
Pure as the light of day

I want to be in the groove
With you, drifting by
Equal to librium
No less and no goodbye
Equilibrium
Equilibrium

Reaching reaction
In forward action
Equal attraction
This give and take
We lift each other
Holding our own as
We love and let love
Staying the change

I want to be in the groove
With you, drifting by
Equal to librium
No less and no goodbye
Equilibrium
Equilibrium

Reaching reaction
In forward action
Equal attraction
This give and take

- If you hear music to match these lyrics, please email me at shawnaray @ live.com so we can collaborate. T'm writing this from my phone since my computer died this week. It lived a good life and is at peace now. So please excuse any finger peck typos.

So this image above is art that was submitted in the search for a human rights logo back in 2011. Sorry I do not know the name of the artist. They chose another logo that is perfect.  But I also love this image that reminds me of what I think of in terms of real, lasting love, that is equal and unwavering. This also represents all levels of human interaction, attraction and collaboration. There are certain elements that allow individuals to bond in friendship or work together on a level that allows each person to bring their gifts to the table and by joining together, the multiplied result is greater good and increased value. Every human being has this potential and deserves equal respect. At the same time, there are some who have a certain chemistry or vibration that just seems to fit together.

I have been processing the idea of an equilibrium love, a chemically reactive equivilant. I think a soul mate is not one who completes or changes you. The two remain constant as individuals, though uniting as one. Understanding that all life goes through changes, I have been longing for a pure and unchanging bond that allows two people to love and grow naturally, moving forward together, without taking anything away from the individual.

I have loved to a fault and been loved to a fault. It seems to often be one sided, where one gives more. What I want is an equal. Not someone who is exactly like me. But someone who matches me and feels me. I have no idea what that really means yet. I hope that I will know when I find and feel it. All I know is, I am no longer willing to settle for anything less. I have wasted a lot of time and energy in soul distractions and self sabotage. So I am spending more time asking myself a lot of questions these days. Becoming who I am meant to be. Finding and expressing my true self and finding my own balance from within. That way I will also be open and able to recognize and connect with team and band mates and in this case, hopefully a partner someday to share the journey.

Destination is the Journey

Destination is The Journey

- Shawna Ray, original song written Oct 20, 2008

I seem to just wander all over the page

You say to go forward and put things in place

But I say this time spent in motion and dreams

Is creative direction and maybe it seems

We circle to get to the core

Until the journey takes me to the point

Where all of this meandering makes more sense

While I get there you will hear me sing

The destination is the journey

The winding of lines are all so intertwined

Look out at the rivers where streams meet in time

They push but still turn, avoiding the damn block

Still moving though slowly eroding the rock 

Life moves with intentions unseen

Until the journey takes me to the point

Where all of this meandering makes more sense

While I get there you will hear me sing

The destination is the journey

So you keep your straight lines and boxes for containing

I’ll keep my circles, emoji  is still smiley

You keep your type A for fixing and dictating

I am OK with Being me 

As the journey takes me to the point

Where all of this meandering makes more sense

While I get there you will hear me sing

the destination is…

(The Muppets) Near------ far ---

So near ------and far

 The destination

The whole fixation...

And seemingly aimless direction
In art and laughter
The now and the after
The raw fresh beauty 
In family and nature
This is a journey!
Please share it with me
Life is a journey!

Aftermath

Aftermath

Music in the Making by Shawna Ray, today 5/7/14

You might have liked the young and pretty me

So full of armor, light and energy

Choices were made and now I’m living

Consequences of a worn down dream  

There’s a new growing grass

Flowers bloom again

All is well, no regrets

What remains intact?

Unbroken, unharmed, unscathed, complete

Untouched, uncut, undefiled, indiscrete

Is a good, good heart

With a love to laugh

There’s a free bird soul

With an olive branch

Coming back from the aftermath

I'm coming back from the aftermath

Some lessons we must learn the hard way

So we can help another someday

Divided we can fall and ruminate

Still love that penetrates is worth the wait

There’s a new growing grass

Flowers bloom again

All is well, no regrets

What remains intact?

Unbroken, unharmed, unscathed, complete

Untouched, uncut, undefiled, indiscrete

Is a good, good heart

With a love to laugh

There’s a free bird soul

With an olive branch

Coming back from the aftermath

I'm coming back from the aftermath

There's some things beyond our control
I'm ready to finally let go

With a good, good heart

And a love to laugh

There’s a free bird soul

With an olive branch

Coming back from the aftermath

I'm coming back from the aftermath

Interesting

I walked into the coffee shop
So over it I didn’t stop

To notice that the energy was shifting

Sipping chai I sat a while
Looked over captured by a smile

The rush was instantaneous feelings

You walked up with a book in hand
And asked if I had any plans

I said hello explaining I was writing

You asked if I had anything
That you could read, ironically

The book you had just finished I was reading
(Side note: I was reading The Fault in our Stars at the time)

Pour a cup of conversation

Finding you completely interesting

Sip into a sort of daydream

Like the way you say exactly what you’re thinking
“This is some delicious dialog”

Thank you for treating me 
You are interesting

I get so bored with simple minds
And you my friend are countertype

A killer grin inquiring, “What’s your story?”

“My story or the one I’m writing?”
“Either one is cool with me”

Your candor and your wit feel so inviting

I gotta go but here’s my number
Snow is falling in December

Three weeks later you are asking to personify

That day was an experience
As if you’d read my narrative

But fiction novels can’t compare to air supply

Pour a cup of conversation

Finding you completely interesting

Sip into a sort of daydream

Like the way you say exactly what you’re thinking

“This is some delicious dialog”

Thank you for treating me

With respect and a side of sensuality
A jolt of hope inspiring creativity
All I know is I am finding you completely
Interesting
Interesting

- by shawna ray

Rainbows from Rain

Artwork by Lojove 

Jump'n in puddles, lett'n it splatter

Haters will hate but it don't matter

Bubbling up I'm saved by laughter

Coming in from the rain

Contrasting the dramedy

Love lights up the sky

Finding rainbows from rain

Rainbows from rain

Happily after dreaming of better

Sing'n along dog days are over

Keep'n it mov'n, pushing the chatter

Out of my brain

Contrasting the dramedy

Love lights up the sky

Finding rainbows from rain

Rainbows from rain

Holding my own pot of gold

Giving to lighten the load

Playing to level the field

Sharing the stories that beg to be told

Contrasting the dramedy

Love lights up the sky

Finding rainbows from rain

Rainbows from rain

Forecasting bright futures ahead

Finding rainbows from rain

Forecasting bright futures ahead

Finding rainbows from rain

Jump'n in puddles lett'n it splatter

Haters will hate but it don't matter

Keep Love Alive

"If you weren't so afraid of letting go
You wouldn't feel so free when you do it"
If you didn't hold capacity to love
Your heart would not feel full when you've filled it
But the rush falls down
And the in love fades
When you're on the ground
With the time it takes

To stoke the flame
And jump again
A fellow friend
Knows how and when
To keep love alive
Alive
Keep love alive
And love again

So the trick is knowing who you really are
To find the one that fits- you will know it
Some people tend to only love the chase
The fragile soul will break if you throw it
Then the trust falls down
And the guard is placed
To keep others out
While inside you crave

To stoke the flame
And jump again
A fellow friend
Knows how and when
To keep love alive
Alive
Keep love alive
And love again

Letting go of the heavy
That you carry from before
You will love when you're ready
Are you ready to give more?

Stoke the flame
And jump again
A fellow friend
Knows how and when
To keep love alive
Alive
Keep love alive
The ever never end

-by shawna ray, today, 8/19/13
Quote in the first line shared by Paul, TheRipplesproject.org
Source unknown, originally shared by Nikki, Oxford, UK
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

You Again

I keep waiting for you to make a move
You keep waiting for me to change my tune
All this time on my own I'm still not grown
Colors fade into grey, wrapped in blankets at home

Wires crossed and moments missed
Weigh the cost, craving your kiss
Hear your voice inside my head
Wish I could see you again

You are still the one who can make me sing
When you strum it's sparking my chemistry
From afar I've learned how to get away
Now I think its time for me to rearrange

Wires crossed and moments missed
Weigh the cost, craving your kiss
Hear your voice inside my head
Wish I could see you again

Wish I could be with you again
Am I crazy? Have we ever been?
I keep sensing lives that I missed
You keep right on, drawing me in
Again and again and again and again

Wires crossed and moments missed
Weigh the cost, craving your kiss
Hear your voice inside my head
Wish I could see you again

-shawna ray, today 7/27/13

Twisted

I wrote this song years ago but found myself on the crazy train again this week. Added that last part. Passive aggressive is also a means of control. Stop the cycle! Find the meaning. Learn the lesson. Keep moving forward...

Live, give, love, laugh and learn,

Shawna

TWISTED
By shawna ray

What is it with you people who abuse?
What is it with me wanting to believe?
That I can change your brain
Mistaking love for need
Think I can be your saint
Without enabling

This twisted reality
Caught up in crazy
Twisted reality
You pull the rug from underneath
And it gets twisted
Twisted, twisted

What's up with this game?
Hiding from bully
What's up with the way
You try to control me?
Why does it have to be
All your way or nothing?
Why do I try to please?
Loosing and falling prey

It's twisted reality
Caught up in crazy
Twisted reality
You pull the rug from underneath
And it gets twisted
Twisted, twisted

What is twisted cannot be straightened
What is lacking cannot be counted
I've been riding the crazy train
And I am finally getting off..
It's twisted reality
Caught up in crazy
Twisted reality
You pull the rug from underneath
And it gets twisted
Twisted, twisted

Time will need taken for healing
Careful I don't do the same thing
To one who is weaker than me
No more cycling on the crazy train
It'd twisted!

(Ecc 1:15)

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Masquerade, New Song In Honor of Pride Parade

An #ally song for my friends
By Shawna Ray
(Music to come starts out like a ballerina music box)

If you took the time to see
Behind the mask, a weight is carried
Years of haunting, hiding pain
While so afraid to break the tape
That plays inside a mind all day
Speaking lies while saving face
To fit inside the box, ashamed
Longing for love and belonging

Swirling twirling phase
Dizzy from the masquerade
This is a new day
Renovate the closet space
I am coming out to play myself for a change
You will see my face at the masquerade

Please don't take God's love away
I can feel it differently
All are made to be unique
Tried to pray the gay away
The voice of hope speaks quietly
Open arms, The Father is running
Welcoming so Heavenly
Saying, "Let us celebrate"

Swirling twirling phase
Dizzy from the masquerade
This is a new day
Renovate the closet space
I am coming out to play myself for a change
You will see my face at the masquerade

Love, love, love, love
Hold it sacred
Pure love, love, love
Worth the wait it's
Love, love, love, love
So many ways to
Love, love, love, love, love

I am an ally
This is what my friends say,
"I did not chose this!
It was chosen for me..."

Welcome a new day
Renovate the closet space
I am coming out to play myself for a change
You will see my face at the masquerade

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Rainbows From Rain

Jump'n in puddles, lett'n it splatter
Haters will hate but it don't matter
Bubbling up I'm saved by laughter
Coming in from the rain

Contrasting the dramedy
Love lights up the sky
Finding rainbows from rain
Rainbows from rain

Happily after dreaming of better
Sing'n along dog days are over
Keep'n it mov'n, pushing the chatter
Out of my brain

Contrasting the dramedy
Love lights up the sky
Finding rainbows from rain
Rainbows from rain

Holding my own pot of gold
Giving to lighten the load
Playing to level the field
Sharing the stories that beg to be told

Contrasting the dramedy
Love lights up the sky
Finding rainbows from rain
Rainbows from rain

Forecasting bright futures ahead
Finding rainbows from rain
Forecasting bright futures ahead
Finding rainbows from rain

Jump'n in puddles lett'n it splatter
Haters will hate but it don't matter
--

Inspired by Tyler Perry's Interview with Oprah on OWN and my Dad, who taught me to keep looking for the rainbows through every storm in life
By Shawna Ray, today 5/27/13
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Birthday

So I had another BIRTHDAY on April 30th. My Mom planned a dinner party with some of my lifelong friends and surprised me by flying my sister Amy in from New York. It was a fun weekend, even though I have been dreading this particular mile marker on the journey that is life. 

Birthdays are moments in time when I was meant to arrive into this life experience. If I had been born at any other time, I would be a completely different person. And yet it seems that looking back, I spent much of my time and energy wishing I looked like someone else or had a different life. Why do we do that? Let’s ENJOY this time by accepting who we are, as is, and be HAPPY on this BIRTHDAY! Of course this makes me think (MMT) and write a SONG about it…

Turning of an age
I see the candles on a cake
And wonder where am I suppose to be by now?
On a no back track
I picture what lies up ahead
And make myself get out of the bed to take next steps...

Moving into 
chapter two
On to thirty
Forty, fifty
Birthdays
Celebrate
Life is good
When we're living 
Presently
OoooOH, presently

Friends and family call
To wish me well, posts on the wall
Bring out a smile, inside I still feel like a child
Do I blow a wish?
Or is it more about the breath?
That I take in to capture moments of alive

Moving into 
Chapter two
On to thirty
Forty, fifty
Birthdays
Celebrate
Life is good
When we're living
Presently
OoooOH, presently

Learning to be healthy is happy
Loving and feeling it all
Now choosing the things I want to receive
Throwing the other trash out

Writing a new 
Chapter two
On to thirty
Forty, fifty
Unafraid!
Celebrate
Life is good
Loving and living
Presently
OooooOH, presently

-shawna ray, today 4/30/13

#birthday,#presents,#living,#presently, #friends,#family,#20,#30,#40,#50

Fancy Free

Please don't tell me that God has made this happen
I don't want to believe he'd do this to me
But I can believe all things happen for a reason
I'll keep looking for lessons that can teach

And I will own it
Learn from it
And ask for forgiveness
Anytime I make a mistake
Keep growing on...
Keep growing on...
Keep growing on...
Fancy free

Please don't feed me a line that feels self righteous
I could never be tied to your right way
But I can respect you and ask you to also respect me
We'll find love and commonality

Yes I will own it
Learn from it
And ask for forgiveness
Anytime I make a mistake
And keep growing on...
Keep growing on...
Keep growing on...
Fancy free

So get your fancy free feet on the dance floor!
Come get down and don't mind them at all
I gave my fancy free heart to the savior
I keep walking through those open doors

And I have owned it
Learned from it
And asked for forgiveness
Anytime I've made a mistake
Keep growing on...
Keep growing on...
Keep growing on...
Fancy free
Live fancy FREE!!!
Fancy free...
Live fancy free!

-shawna ray

"Don't let pride hold you outside"
-Pastor Gary Keesee
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Catalyst

Why does there have to be only one way to be right???

Reinvention isn't for the
Ones who avoid intervention
Things that worked then had their reason
Outgrown systems need attention

Now is a new day
Change is upon us
Open your mind wide
Life is a catalyst

Time awaiting steps we're taking
Foresight, insight, rearranging
Moving in collaboration
Listening and re-engaging

Now is a new day
Change is upon us
Open your mind wide
Life is a catalyst

For dissipating greed and angry
Pockets holding change resisting
Anything remotely close to
Fears so deeply rooted in the
Programming that ran the thing back then..
Well this is Now- feel a new day
Hope is within us
Open your mind wide
Life is a catalyst

Old dogs learn new tricks
Good is the new rich
Learning to teach with
Hands on assertive
Creative compassion 
That flexes and forges
The way to a new day
Change is upon us
Open your heart wide
Life is a catalyst

By shawna ray, today 2/20/13
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Baby Steps

Sometimes I feel like I'm in the wrong life
But that regret will lead you to mistep
The body is sluggish; aware is weightless
Thankful I'm breathing; feeling aliveness

Ahhhhhhh

Where do I go from here?
I can't undo the past
Present is all I have
Taking the baby steps
Putting one foot front of the other
Waking up, gonna get it together
I'm putting one foot front of the other
Taking the baby steps

Lessons I'm learning are blocks for building
A strong foundation of understanding
The valley's deep but I'm getting through it
All part of process. Come on let's do this!

Ahhhhhhh

Where do I go from here?
I can't undo the past
Present is all I have
Taking the baby steps
Putting one foot front of the other
Waking up, gonna get it together
I'm putting one foot front of the other
Taking the baby steps

Some moments are peaks
And some hit the pits
But you can climb out of it
Some days will be good
And some things are tough
But present is always love
It never fails
So don't give up!

AhhhhhhhCHOO! Haha

Where do I go from here?
I can't undo the past
Present is all I have
Taking the baby steps
Putting one foot front of the other
Waking up, gonna get it together
I'm putting one foot front of the other
Taking the baby steps
Taking the baby steps
Taking the baby steps...

-Shawna ray today, 1-9-13
Live, Give, Love, Laugh, Learn
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Brush It Off

Why do you shrink when you think
That you don't have much to bring?
It's all you coming through
Know that we are family
Lesson learned moving on
I am singing you this song
It's about what the mind perceives

Brush it off
And get back up
Own your stuff
But don't give up
Brush it off
Its all just dust
You are a star
Stuck on a shelf
Now brush it off

You have a light meant to shine
And its finally time
There's no way to rewind
From the back going prime
Tell the doubt to get out
That was then this is now
It's a story you can rewrite

Brush it off
And get back up
Own your stuff
But don't give up
Brush it off
Its all just dust
You are a star
Stuck on a shelf
Now brush it off

Hear the ancestors speak
Of the history made
When the chosen are called
And step up to the plate
There is more to this life
And those fears are a lie
You were raised up
And now is the time...

To brush it off
And get back up
Own your stuff
But don't give up
Brush it off
Its all just dust
You are a star
Stuck on a shelf
Now brush it off!

-Mama Shawna Ray, today Nov 21, 2012
Copyright Rhythm Ray
www.shawnaray.com


Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Noon

I've watched the young in love
I've seen them stay together
So what happened to us?
The always fought forever

Now what? Now what?

Fairy tale is over
Stronger sunflower
May be late to bloom
Singing in the shower
Turning on the hour
Meet me at the stroke of noon

Still hoping for a kiss
The ending with a twist
Was there someone I missed?
Awake...What day is it?

Now what? Now what?

Fairy tale is over
Stronger sunflower
May be late to bloom
Singing in the shower
Turning on the hour
Meet me at the stroke of noon

Breakfast in bed
Hang over head
Night owl just said good afternoon
That broken shoe
Never did fit
But my love lips where made for you

Fairy tale is over
Stronger sunflower
May be late to bloom
Singing in the shower
Turning on the hour
Take me to the stroke of
Chords that are strumming with a tune
Base that is pump'n with a boom
Brush on the canvas in an open room
Love me to the stroke of noon

-shawna ray, today 11/11/12
(An imaginary love story)
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Schemer

Schemer
From one who has been there done that with “that guy”, shawna ray today, 8-31-12

He’s a schemer
You can see it in his eyes
Do not go there!
There's a devil in disguise
And you know that
To your face he’s telling lies
Learn this lesson and be wise
Steer clear, steer clear, steer clear of the schemer

You know the type, all front and hype
Deep down something just don’t feel right
He stalks the scene, maneuvering
Seems cold but he keeps talking talking talking about nothing but a…

Schemer!
You can see it in his eyes
Do not go there!
There's a devil in disguise
And you know that
To your face he’s telling lies
Learn this lesson and be wise
Steer clear, steer clear, steer clear of the schemer

She acts like you are nothing new
You sense intentions are not true
Backlash she’s fast starts talking trash
Heart cold as cash that could care less no feeling there’s no felling from a…

Schemer!
You can see it in her eyes
Do not go there!
There's a devil in disguise
And you know that
To your face she’s telling lies
Learning how to recognize
Steer clear, steer clear, steer clear
Steer clear, steer clear, steer clear
Steer clear, steer clear, steer clear
Of the schemer

 

Please Don't Preach

He tried to share his life. I went and missed the mark

Been burned a hundred times, He wasn’t hearing much

(He said), you speak their language, there is a tone I sense 

All that just seems connected, to one who first rejected

Didn’t understand; Wouldn’t hold my hand

Didn’t show the love I needed back then

Please don’t preach at me

Please don’t preach at me

Love me just where I am

Let me tell you where I’ve been

I will learn to call you friend,

If you don’t preach at me, please

She had her own faith walk, nature with shifting views

I grew to understand what she was working through

Seeking a place of peace; daily discovering

Questioning the things that hypocrites release

You who throw a stone, hey what's with all the judging?

Please don’t preach at me

Please don’t preach at me

Love me just where I am

Let me tell you where I’ve been

I will learn to call you friend,

If you don’t preach at me, please

Each journey is its own. Don’t try to put a notch on your belt

This pain goes far and deep. Respect the time and need for healing

Please don’t preach at me

Please don’t preach at me

Love me just where I am

Let me tell you where I’ve been

I will learn to call you friend,

If you don’t preach at me, please

Let life speak, let love speak, let hope speak to those who are listening

Let life seek, let love seek, let hope seek those who are seeking

Open to see all God’s children connecting

Don’t be condescending if you want to pray for me

I'm a fellow traveler; willing to share this journey

Conversate and contemplate, I’ll learn from you, you learn from me

But please, please, please don’t preach

by shawna ray, this was written on 4-22-05 but is a remindable thought for today

Miraculous

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." - Albert Einstein

Where is this road leading?
What do you have for me?
Find myself on my knees asking why?
So many variables
Juggling too many balls
Will this work for the good? Seek and find...

Everyday miracles
Nothing is impossible
When I watch one door close
I believe there's something more
Miraculous
Miraculous

Lead me into your will
I'll follow and be still
Even as storms will come I see your hand
Calming the raging sea
Arms open beckoning
Walk on the water with me, you can stand...

Everyday miracles
Nothing is impossible
When I watch one door close
I believe there's something more
Miraculous
Miraculous

Look for the rainbows in the rain
Come expecting healing through pain
Being rich has nothing to do with money
I can say that I have seen...

Everyday miracles
Nothing is impossible
When I watch one door close
I believe there's something more
Miraculous
Miraculous

Let God blow your mind
Seek and you will find...
Miraculous
Miraculous

shawna ray 8-9-12


Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Song Inspired by 2012 Olympic Opening Ceremonies- In the Now, Shawna Ray

Watching the #Olympic opening ceremonies tonight I could feel this sentiment in the diverse faces of so many uniquely beautiful, hopeful athletes. It was interesting to see them holding cameras up to capture the moment while they too were being filmed.

I have been writing and sharing song lyrics in the moment for a few years now. Someday I will have the means to also record more music. For all of us who keep pushing through barriers to move one step further to realizing our dreams, day by day...Don't give up! Breathe...

IN THE NOW

Capture frames of what the eye sees
Energy that rises quickly
Walking steady, friends surrounding
Etching memories for reminding

This is the opportunity of a lifetime
Breathe it all in now
A new beginning to seize the moment
Breathe it all in the now, in the now

Every day that you've been moving
Every dream that you've been dreaming
Adding up and finally leading
Through the open door, revealing

This is the opportunity of a lifetime
Breathe it all in now
A new beginning to seize the moment
Breathe it all in the now, in the now

Feel the presence of your purpose
Move the will and make a way
There is more beyond the surface
Pushing past with all your strength

This is the opportunity of a lifetime
Breathe it all in now
A new awareness to seize the moment
Breathe it all in the now, in the now

by shawna ray, today 7/27/12 11:11pm

All are winners, 2012 Olympics